It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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