She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
