I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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