Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
