I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
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If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
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I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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