SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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