I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is Oprah even human
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
