the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
