I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
