i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
