meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
