this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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