Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
