My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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