I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
