I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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