doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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