I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
