He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
