If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
