I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
