If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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