Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
