i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
