Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
