Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
And my parents said I crawled through the house
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
