Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
