Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Barsexuality is the new black.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We need to get me chipped asap
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
