I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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