he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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