Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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