How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
