I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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