did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
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We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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