Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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