Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
