The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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