C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
