i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
