This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
