Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
we're so committed to being not committed
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