I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
