just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish i was in the wii world.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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