Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is Oprah even human
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
