just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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