She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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