i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
