yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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