I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I don't deserve a penis
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
