Got a toothbrush?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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