she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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