Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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