THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
