Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
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She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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