Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
