Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
