I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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