We named our party play list daddy issues
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
