Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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